“Be
free from all the lies the world will tell you about not being smart enough or
pretty enough, good enough or clean enough. No sin or even a lifetime of sin
excludes us from the freedom the Cross of Jesus affords. Yes, we are
undeserving of God’s rich mercy, but Jesus makes us deserving. His goodness alone makes us good enough.”
–from a devotional about Eve’s
shame after The Fall and the cure from God. (http://shereadstruth.com/2015/06/02/eve)
I
watched the movie Good Will Hunting for the first time last night. It
made me think about people’s gifts and their hindrances to using them. For the
main character, Will Hunting, it was his childhood that held him back: he was abused,
abandoned, and therefore became apathetic. He finally builds rapport with a
therapist, Sean, and near the end of the movie, he’s opening up to him. But Will
is still stuck on what he wants to do with his life and his incredible mind,
not believing he’s worthy or that he’ll succeed.
His therapist realizes he’s stuck
because of the lies he’s believed. Will could not control the circumstances of
his upbringing but somehow has told himself he should have lived differently anyway.
The therapist says gently, “It’s not your fault, son. It’s not your fault.” Of course,
Will realizes this on a rational level, and says so. But the therapist
continues to say it, pounding the Truth of it past his mind into his heart.
“It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.” Will resists, turning to violent
defense mechanisms that have served him for years. The therapist persists, whispering.
“It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.” Eventually, Will breaks down and
accepts this truth, hugging Sean, who is more a father-figure than a therapist
in this moment. It’s an excellent scene and it made me thoughtful about what
made it so poignant.
Then
today I read a devotional about shame and its beginnings with Eve in Genesis.
Shame tells us all sorts of lies and they hold us back. My prevailing personal
lie (though there have been many) has been “You’ll never be good enough.” And
while there’s nothing wrong with having a therapist, it's been helpful for me to simply listen to God Himself telling me the counteractive Truth. It’s a
good meditative practice. Sit quietly and imagine God telling you the opposite
of whatever lie you’ve been hearing in your head (or audibly by people in your
life?). Don’t just hear it once. Hear it many, many times. Enough times to
start fighting the predominant narrative in your head.
You are good enough.
You
are good enough.
Right
now. And yesterday. And tomorrow. You are good enough.
Not
that I deserve God’s mercy, or all the riches in the world, or anything for
that matter. But I am good enough because Jesus made me so. Because He deemed
me worthy. I’ve always liked the quote by C.S. Lewis, “Christ died for men
precisely because men are not worth dying for; to make them worth it.”
Amen.
…You
know that’s why I say Amen? (Church preachers can affirm this, I'm that person in the back saying it during the sermon!) Because it’s my soul affirming the truth of
something. Like, “God is love.”
“Amen!” Or “I could never do anything to make God love me more.” “Amen!”
I'm teaching my soul to recognize truth—and what’s not. Then my soul resonates with its sweetness. Affirms the firmness of it. Validates its wholeness. Listening to the world, our crazy culture, and the shame from my wounds can make me forget what truth sounds like. That’s why, when I’m feeling beat down, reading Scripture and singing worship songs and meditating on truth phrases are so powerful. Because it centers my soul again, and wakes up the goodness of truth. It might be a bit uncomfortable at first, like stretching can be, or sinking into a steaming hot tub. But then it feels good. And it’s good for me.
I'm teaching my soul to recognize truth—and what’s not. Then my soul resonates with its sweetness. Affirms the firmness of it. Validates its wholeness. Listening to the world, our crazy culture, and the shame from my wounds can make me forget what truth sounds like. That’s why, when I’m feeling beat down, reading Scripture and singing worship songs and meditating on truth phrases are so powerful. Because it centers my soul again, and wakes up the goodness of truth. It might be a bit uncomfortable at first, like stretching can be, or sinking into a steaming hot tub. But then it feels good. And it’s good for me.
So,
what lies are you believing? How are they beating you down? How are they
holding you back? Did you even realize they’re holding you back? And, what
truths do you desperately need to hear? Be free, my friend. You were created to
be free. Let it launch you to fulfill your truest self.
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” –Jesus
(John 8:32)
