Stoplights and names on paper.

I tend to believe that God does big miracles and is involved in grand schemes but I'm less likely to see God is small, seemingly-no-purpose events. For example, stoplights. My husband told me one day several months ago that he believed getting all green lights through a city once was a God-thing, a small blessing meant to bring him joy. I pooh-poohed that. "Stoplights?" I said. "You weren't even rushing someone to the hospital! What's the point? Would God do that just for you?"

You see, I don't see faith as something that simply "makes you happy", that God caters to our self-centered, little-kid wishes that have no lasting impact. I am a principled person. I care very much about the shoulds and the musts. Sure, I'll appreciate a beautiful sunset and give Him the praise for it in a quiet you-and-me moment, but purposefully interfering with electronics and man-made patterns that affect many people in traffic just to make one person smile? Not so sure about that. The idea didn't even sound biblical. Yes, God intervened many times in the Bible to show Himself, to bring people to Him or to grow the "key players" in His story. Yes, Jesus said even the hairs on our heads are numbered (Matthew 10:30), but I just thought that was showing God both knows all and that he cares about us as individuals. But I don't see stories about God-ordained occurrences that made people smile, nothing more.

Then this week has been an amusing monkey wrench in all of that. First, a little more necessary backstory. Carrying on my family's tradition, I have a "prayer bowl" at my husband and I's dinner table. Each night that we are home for dinner, one of us chooses a piece of paper from the bowl that has someone or something to pray for, making sure not to peek before we pick. I wrote the names months ago: family members, work places, the president, etc. Usually we decide who will bless the meal based on who is more connected to the name we drew.  

This week, however, we've nominated the other person to pray and "taken our chances" that the name will be related to the other person. And it's worked out. After it happened a few nights in a row, I wondered out loud if God was specifically "planning" who we'd pray for. Ben jumped on that. "You believe God would do that but not intervene with stoplights?" I had to laugh. Touché. My faith is probably too small.

The following day, Ben and I were asked to consider more involved roles with the worship teams of our church. Somewhat unexpected stuff. An hour later, we were sitting down to dinner and who should we pick from the prayer bowl but "Vineyard worship team". I laughed and laughed. If anything, I think God has a sense of humor!

As a Christian, I'm inclined to believe there are few coincidences. Some things seem too significant to be pure chance, yet sometimes too small to be the "hand of God". I don't know... I don't have it all figured out. Here's what I do know however:

1) God's in control of everything, directly or indirectly. He also has cosmically big purposes. I may not see the point of "small" happenings but ultimately He may be working them out in a certain way for the sake of the bigger picture. 

2) Prayers matter. The missionary Paul wrote frankly to one church, "you help us by your prayers" (2 Corinthians 1:11). So God may well be wanting an extra prayer for someone one day, so out of the "random" prayer bowl comes their name.

3) He cares about growing my faith. There are lots of people in the Bible who had specific encounters with God that were ordained to increase their trust and belief in Him. I'm particularly reminded of Gideon from the Old Testament, who was chosen by God for a big task. He had the audacity to test God about this: “If now I have found favor in your eyes, give me a sign that it is really you talking to me." (Judges 6:17) So he places a wool fleece out over night. If it has dew on it but not the floor around it--that'd be God's sign. God does it this way. Gideon tests Him again, in the opposite way: no dew on the fleece but dew on the floor. God does it that way. Gideon is convinced and goes on the quest. That's awfully patient of God! He must have really cared that Gideon had enough faith!

Years ago, my sister chastised me years ago for not praying when I had lost something. I have prayed in those circumstances ever since--not just so that I'll find them, but also to show God I trust Him with everything and that I believe that He cares. Still not sure where I stand on the stoplight issue but that's okay. I'm guessing my God is challenging me to grow again: to believe He is so big, He's that minutely involved.

Thoughtfully yours,

Ellen

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

"You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways." (Psalm 139:1-3)

 "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." (Matthew 10:29-31)

Haikus

Reading through my poems today. Brings me joy.
Think I'll share a few haikus I've written most recently. (They're not related.)

1)

Some people curse you,

but you were useful to me.

Thanks Inhibition.

2)

I am PhotoGirl.

Any superpowers? No.

But I look epic.

3)

Woke after bad dreams,

Now I write to forget them.

Tomorrow: wear cape.

©Ellen H. 2012

Characters and change.

            Gee thanks, Netflix. In the past few months, I’ve watched more TV series episodes than usual. With this change, I’ve realized what bothers me about TV/book series and stand-alone movies/books: the amount of character development. Here’s the difference: in order to perpetuate a series and keep conflict between characters, the characters must develop slowly, if at all. In contrast, a movie and character-focused book are most fulfilling if there is a marked change in the protagonist and antagonists. And I’ll tell you what: the lack of significant progress in series really bothers me.

            Take two TV characters that serve the same purpose: Sheldon from Big Bang Theory and Barney from How I Met Your Mother. (Actually, the whole HIMYM series feels like it never progresses, but I won’t go there.) Both guys are main—but not primary—characters who frustrate those on- and off-screen alike and create humor by shock-value. Their conflict is vital to the series and their humor is vital to its flow. They are a constant for the show, insurance for however long the series lasts. But time and time again, the same type of jokes is told and people end up unsatisfied. This is lamented, but the other characters and the viewers are just meant to get frustrated, then laugh and shrug, saying, “That’s just how he is.”

            I suppose this is true to life. People have enduring personality traits that often play out in predictable ways. However, the other end of the spectrum of how people work exists too. Stand-alone books (and short series, like trilogies) show this. The protagonist must change as the events happen to him. If he didn’t, the readers wouldn’t find it believable. Because life changes people.

C’mon, you protest, enduring flaws make people realistic and relatable. Again, I agree in principle. Still, this is where my personality, even unreasonably so, has a hard time. I strongly want to believe that people can improve, and will. If they don’t, and we just laugh with (at?) them, aren’t we essentially condoning those flaws? We’re implying we want those imperfections—no matter how much they hurt others—to persist, because they amuse us. When I keep up with a show with such characters (and I do), I'm indicating that I relate.  Implying just how deeply screwed-up I am.

Yeah, yeah, it’s just TV, and comedy at that. But deep down, I can’t shake how much this bugs me. It’s like either I’ve lost hope in the human race or I’m the butt of some grand joke by the show’s producers. As the credits roll again, I just want to shout: Change is possible! Do not limit yourself to a box—not yours, nor anyone else’s. If your flaws hurt others, especially repeatedly, seriously try to improve! If anyone, I promise to try!

Perhaps the catch here is that the TV shows I mentioned are comedies. Viewers don’t watch primarily to see some life-changing experience, but to be amused. In a decent-sized novel or full-length movie, however, usually the conflict has to be big enough to stand alone, which would naturally deeply affect the main characters—otherwise, why read or watch? Maybe dramas are more my thing. The conflict there typically is of a more serious nature, right? … Maybe. The thing is, BBT and HIMYM deal with important bottom-line problems too, but just in sillier settings and with sillier commentary. Friendships, love interests, self-esteem, goals in life… in fact, these are more relevant conflicts to my life than surviving on an island or solving crimes.

I’m not sure how to end this. I still want to watch these shows (though not daily) but they still bug me, and probably always will. Ha, I guess this character isn’t going to change amidst conflict… for now.
--Ellen

[Reading List update: Finished Bridget Jones’ Diary, Eat Pray Love, and now that I’m sick of first-person female contemporary novels, I’m about to begin Dune, classic sci-fi book.]

Summer Reading List - In Progress

Many months after school is out, I am a still a nerd.

As I was approaching college graduation, I realized that I hadn't done much reading for leisure, sick as I was of reading for requirements. Now that, academically speaking, I'm a free bird, I've decided it's time to take up the beloved hobby once again. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them! Doesn't mean I'll read all of them, but I'll be open minded. You may see that I am tending toward the famous or of particular personal interest, because part of my intent is to be more well-read and relevant. Here's my list of completed books so far this summer:

1) Wicked, by MacGuire. A popular musical is loosely based on this alternate Oz story.
2) The Chocolate War, by Cormier.
3) Deadly Currents, by Groundwater. Fictional thriller set in realistic, present-day Upper Arkansas Valley (my region).
4) In Progress: One Hundred Years of Solitude, by Marquez. Translated into English from Spanish. Author went on to win the Nobel Prize for Literature.

If you're interested in my opinions on any of these, let me know. Otherwise, I'd love to hear your reading picks!


Thoughtfully yours,
Ellen

The result of a fun writing prompt.

Especially pertinent to this blog's title, I am sharing the result of a prompt from a writer's group I attended today. We free-write for all prompts, so that means you keep your pen going, you don't cross out and you don't judge what you wrote. Except for a few minor edits, I have left it alone. For this particular prompt, we had 10 minutes for "You were just told that a spaceship crashed into Cristo’s Over the River drape in the Arkansas River." Read on for my fictional, satirical, locally-relevant work. (For my sake, imagine that OTR is already built):

 *     *     *

Who knew a spaceship would become a rivership?

Upon hearing the news, I imagine the catastrophe in my mind’s eye: a ripped drape, a broken spaceship, the gawking tourists. Karma had struck Mr. Cristo and the heavens had spoken: no Over The River project would be blessed.

As I inwardly survey the wreckage, questions fill my mind and the gaps. Are there people aboard this ship? Or is it a UFO, now clearly identified in the light of day? Will traffic be stopped in the canyon for days, like seems to happen often? Can rafters get out before the swift current smooshes the raft and dumps out its contents?

Of course, the hullabaloo in Salida will be the Over The River wreckage, the political aftermath, and more local fighting to ensue. The town of Crestone had begun séances, the informant told us, to plead the universe to bring peace as well as protection from extraterrestrials.

Traffic would be bad because of the tourists, not just efforts to clean up the mess, and all the reporters staking out to catch a glimpse of any survivors on board. I want to see the carnage myself, to not rely on secondhand information, but inevitable traffic jams stave off my impulse.

Of course, economically, the local commissioners secretly couldn’t be happier: all those reporters, extra tourists and the opportunity to erect a someday-historic sign: “Site of the 2012 spaceship crash”. Maybe the Mayan’s were right: there’s something strange about this year.

 
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