We ride in the car: I'm in the passenger's seat; he drives. A Christian song we both like is playing, and we nod our heads, tap our fingers, sway our shoulders. Yes, Lord.
Thoughtful, my friend comments, "The inside of my car is the closest thing to what my personal sanctuary would be."
Hmm. My writer's mind grabbed the moment and stored it for later. "Personal sanctuary." Interesting how a word that I associate with church--"sanctuary"--was paired with "car". Take it as a sign of my generation. And coming from my friend, who especially likes to drive, it makes twice as much sense. Although I don't like to drive nearly as much, I could identify with his words as well.
God is everywhere--in majestic churches and in mundane cars. That my friend and I tend to worship in both those places shows how He is smack-dab in the midst of everyday life. It's a personal space, because, at least for myself, I'm most often alone in my car. I'm not embarrassed to sing along with music, comfortable because no one can hear, free to be earnest. And my prayers spoken out loud there sound like conversations, probably more than any other time. It's easy to imagine Jesus close by, sitting in the passengers seat.
(Momentary soapbox here: The main Christian radio station that comes into my area is KLOVE. I have to say right here that I'm not a big fan of their overall choice of songs, their annoying talk shows, or the biannual fundraisers that seem to go on for ages... However, they do seek to edify their audience, so when I turn on my car and catch the verse of the day, for example, I am often encouraged. I won't complain about that! So that also contributes to creating a personal sanctuary in my car.)
A sanctuary is a special, physical place that is used habitually for spiritual awareness and worship. That's my offhand definition anyway. With that meaning, other locations such as my bedroom, the living room couch, the spot at the piano, and the Remote Outdoors in general also qualify as personal sanctuaries. I've been well aware of those locations. And please understand: I still enjoy church sanctuaries. Gathering a group of believers in one place to worship is important and powerful. But this was a new thought, so just add my personal list, "inside of my car". Hey, why not?
Can you relate? Where's your personal sanctuary?
Musingly yours,
Ellen
Thursday, February 02, 2012
Monday, January 02, 2012
Functions of an alarm clock.
The volume knob and timer are broken on my music alarm clock. Pretty important functions, wouldn't you say?
A college grad lives at home again. No job; no girlfriends her age. Pretty important life aspects, don't you think? Mind you, I have a loving and stable living environment, and I'm better in all ways for having gone to college. Similarly, the alarm clock still plays music and the alarm can go off... but only at 7:11am. Things could be worse... but we're both missing some important functions.
Feelings bubble to the surface, plus guilt for having them, but they're there all the same. So I have made a pact with these feelings: voice most of them, but don't give them total control of the stage once they're out. Often when I permit one, the direct opposite speaks up next. "Step up to the open mic, but leave time for the next, please." So here they are, fighting for the limelight:
I'm homesick. I deeply miss college life and the friends I had there. Then I feel guilty because I live at home, and I'm finally close to my best friend/fiance after a year of long distance. Believe me, this is great. But the human heart is quickly discontent again, so I feel... weak for admitting it.
Then again, no one will deny the worth of an honest friend who's not your fiance! Hearts crave it. And work-- doesn't Ecclesiastes say that work is good for a man? (See Ecc. 2:24.) Even if it's not a dream job, the structured days, the affirmation of usefulness and steady income--certainly those are nice.
Life now is a distinct shift from college. I expected to miss things... but it's been months now. Still no steady job and scattered interactions with friends at best. "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation," the Apostle Paul teaches (Philippians 4:12). I truly want to live that out. But peaceful trust in God during this odd season is hard when I feel like that alarm clock: functional but noticeably lacking.
Part of what's hard is that I liked the Me back in college: She was oh-so-deliberate, interesting, and successful. A's and awards are affirming accolades! In four years, I learned to thrive in that environment. Now it's something new, and survival mode is still kicking in... my timer seems to be broken. It's like entering a foreign country; suddenly your money means nothing in that context.
After college, I worked a great summer job, moved home and got engaged. Life is moving in a specific direction, to be sure. God, You have led me this far! (See last January's entry.) You still know what You are doing. That's my conclusive inconclusion.
However, I'm not sure what to do with my alarm clock. Do I keep it? iHomes aren't cheap and I love using my iPod to wake up. Do I replace it? Setting other times and volumes are essential to using it fully. Do I get it fixed? I can't do it myself, so I would have to send it in. Might be cheaper than replacing it.
I'm not sure what to do with me, either. Seek a context where my "currency" is valid? Do what feels like starting over, learning new skills? Keep trying here and waiting?
I'm aware that I'm not the only one asking these questions, especially in the current economy. People in all stages of life, college graduates to nearly-retirees, are in the same fix. All the more reason to trust God--my default in all uncertainty--because He sees all, knows all, and can do anything. "With God, all things are possible." (Matthew 19:26) In the meantime, I'll keep praying, love the people around me, and explore all my options... Wonder what I'll be writing about next year at this time!
Thoughtfully yours,
Ellen
A college grad lives at home again. No job; no girlfriends her age. Pretty important life aspects, don't you think? Mind you, I have a loving and stable living environment, and I'm better in all ways for having gone to college. Similarly, the alarm clock still plays music and the alarm can go off... but only at 7:11am. Things could be worse... but we're both missing some important functions.
Feelings bubble to the surface, plus guilt for having them, but they're there all the same. So I have made a pact with these feelings: voice most of them, but don't give them total control of the stage once they're out. Often when I permit one, the direct opposite speaks up next. "Step up to the open mic, but leave time for the next, please." So here they are, fighting for the limelight:
I'm homesick. I deeply miss college life and the friends I had there. Then I feel guilty because I live at home, and I'm finally close to my best friend/fiance after a year of long distance. Believe me, this is great. But the human heart is quickly discontent again, so I feel... weak for admitting it.
Then again, no one will deny the worth of an honest friend who's not your fiance! Hearts crave it. And work-- doesn't Ecclesiastes say that work is good for a man? (See Ecc. 2:24.) Even if it's not a dream job, the structured days, the affirmation of usefulness and steady income--certainly those are nice.
Life now is a distinct shift from college. I expected to miss things... but it's been months now. Still no steady job and scattered interactions with friends at best. "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation," the Apostle Paul teaches (Philippians 4:12). I truly want to live that out. But peaceful trust in God during this odd season is hard when I feel like that alarm clock: functional but noticeably lacking.
Part of what's hard is that I liked the Me back in college: She was oh-so-deliberate, interesting, and successful. A's and awards are affirming accolades! In four years, I learned to thrive in that environment. Now it's something new, and survival mode is still kicking in... my timer seems to be broken. It's like entering a foreign country; suddenly your money means nothing in that context.
After college, I worked a great summer job, moved home and got engaged. Life is moving in a specific direction, to be sure. God, You have led me this far! (See last January's entry.) You still know what You are doing. That's my conclusive inconclusion.
However, I'm not sure what to do with my alarm clock. Do I keep it? iHomes aren't cheap and I love using my iPod to wake up. Do I replace it? Setting other times and volumes are essential to using it fully. Do I get it fixed? I can't do it myself, so I would have to send it in. Might be cheaper than replacing it.
I'm not sure what to do with me, either. Seek a context where my "currency" is valid? Do what feels like starting over, learning new skills? Keep trying here and waiting?
I'm aware that I'm not the only one asking these questions, especially in the current economy. People in all stages of life, college graduates to nearly-retirees, are in the same fix. All the more reason to trust God--my default in all uncertainty--because He sees all, knows all, and can do anything. "With God, all things are possible." (Matthew 19:26) In the meantime, I'll keep praying, love the people around me, and explore all my options... Wonder what I'll be writing about next year at this time!
Thoughtfully yours,
Ellen
Saturday, December 31, 2011
A thoughtful New Year's Eve day.
New Year’s Eve. Well, day of the Eve, if you know what I mean. It doesn’t seem right to call it just “Eve” when it’s light outside. So that’s how I call these days: New Year’s Eve day, New Year’s Day eve; Christmas Eve day, Christmas Day eve. It’s useful, at least to me. Anyway.
Have you noticed that in the Christmas season, it’s appropriate to say Merry Christmas all the way up until Christmas Day? But for the New Year, it seems wrong to say it until it’s actually the New Year. Yet, I am looking forward to the New Year, as I did Christmas, so I wish I could say it in the same way, but it just doesn’t seem right. Do others feel the same way?
It’s windy today. And I mean, high-wind-advisory strength. The wind blows so hard that the metal knocker on our front door knocks slightly when a big gust comes up. So I’m particularly jumpy today, thinking that someone is at the door, before I remember how windy it is.
Then that cold, December wind puts me in the mood for tea. So I put the teakettle on, feeling so-vintage-it’s-chic for doing so. It takes awhile for the water to boil, so I do other chores around the house in the meantime. Then, when the kettle screams, I literally jump up, and I race upstairs to the kitchen to pull it off the burner. Is there really a need for such hurry? Probably not, but that highly-concentrated steam has a note of anxiety in it, so I rush to its rescue—or is it my rescue?—to ease my nerves. I’m doing a lot of jumping today; I probably need the soothing tea.
The last day of the year. Naturally it makes me look back. Particularly noteworthy is my engagement, of course. That’s an event that literally will affect the rest of my life, perhaps more than any other event. Congratulations, 2011, you get the honor of containing that landmark. Or should I say “timemark”? In fact, many people I know got engaged this year. It’s the season of our lives, I suppose, for that kind of thing. I count in my head: thirteen. I believe there are thirteen couples, besides myself and my fiancé, that got engaged this year. That’s a lot of weddings for people I know in 2012!
What’s curious about these engagements, besides the sheer number of them in one year, is that most of these people are close to my age. That means they are considerably younger than the national average age that people get married. And to be honest, I am quite proud of my friends for this fact. Take that, American culture, I think to myself. While I don’t have anything against people getting married at an older age, it’s understandable that many people don’t want to wait so long, especially if they’ve been dating the same person for some time. I don’t expect that my circle of friends and acquaintances are an accurate representation of national trends, but I do find the difference striking. Also, the nation’s average length of engagement is about 15-18 months (I couldn’t find any hard facts on this but the sites I saw seemed to have a general consensus), so this means that nearly all of these couples will have had a shorter-than-average engagement as well. Same reason as above probably applies here: don’t want to wait.
The national trend shows that fewer people overall are getting married these days and the divorce rate is still high. So the final reason this makes me proud is that these couples are sticking it to the “Man”—if readers will allow me to refer to culture as a man—by saying that they still believe in marriage; they are still willing to give it a try. Personally, I am consciously saying those things with my own agreement to get married—one that is made all the stronger because I don’t believe divorce is an option, except in very extreme circumstances. I especially give kudos to those of my friends who come from divorced families. That’s an incredible faith! So on this New Year’s Eve day, I toast to you, newly engaged couples of 2011.
A somber note bears including, however. No matter how atypical this group of couples is, statistically, some of these couples will divorce. Considering their ages and lengths of engagement, the likelihood might be even higher than normal. It’s hard to think about, when I like all of these people and can honestly say I am excited about all of these relationships. It makes me want to look back on that list of 2011 couples in 5, 10 and 20 years, to see who stood the test of time. Only God knows. Hm. You know what? For once, I’m glad He’s the only one who does.
Well, this has been quite the entry of varied topics and tones, and I think I shall end here for today. I’ll adapt the classic poem’s final line as my way of signing off:
“Happy New Year to all, and to all, a good night.”
As always, thoughtfully yours,
Ellen
(P.S. Strange to think my last initial will change next year! That will take some getting used to! For now, I’ll just leave it off entirely.)
Monday, November 28, 2011
Tres Leches recipe with pictures
Pastel de tres leches (pah-stel day trays-lay-chays): the classic Latino cake made of three milks that's oh-so-moist.
I participate in a cooking class with a few local women and we made this in the most recent class. I enjoyed it so much, I've decided to write a food blog post about it. Also, I recently bought a new camera so this is a very generalized step-by-step with pictures. (If you want the full recipe, let me know!) I'd tasted tres leches cake before, but never baked one myself. This one was a great success. Mind you, I love milk so I wasn't worried about not liking this cake. However, if you're concerned about how much milk it contains, even the class teacher who swears she hates all kinds of milk loved the final product. Sweet, indeed!
Note: the recipe we used is from a high-altitude restaurant, which may be partly why it turned out so well in my high-altitude town. But who knows, maybe it's just a dang good recipe! Anyway, let's get started.
1. Separate the egg whites from the yolks using their own shells.
2. Beat egg whites...
6. Beat heavy whipping cream, a few teaspoons of sugar and a little vanilla extract until it forms soft, shiny peaks. While the cake is still cold, cut into slices. The first slice will be the hardest to get out. Either frost the entire cake or put a dollop of cream on each slice. Enjoy!
I participate in a cooking class with a few local women and we made this in the most recent class. I enjoyed it so much, I've decided to write a food blog post about it. Also, I recently bought a new camera so this is a very generalized step-by-step with pictures. (If you want the full recipe, let me know!) I'd tasted tres leches cake before, but never baked one myself. This one was a great success. Mind you, I love milk so I wasn't worried about not liking this cake. However, if you're concerned about how much milk it contains, even the class teacher who swears she hates all kinds of milk loved the final product. Sweet, indeed!
Note: the recipe we used is from a high-altitude restaurant, which may be partly why it turned out so well in my high-altitude town. But who knows, maybe it's just a dang good recipe! Anyway, let's get started.
1. Separate the egg whites from the yolks using their own shells.
3. ...and keep beating on high until they form soft peaks (but not stiff like for meringue). Be patient with this step.
4. Combine the dry and wet ingredients separately. Gently stir together. Grease and flour a 9x13, and pour in batter. Bake 25-30 minutes (28min was perfect for us) or until lightly golden.
5. While the cake is still hot, poke lots of holes in it with a long-tine fork or toothpick. Combine the three milks (sweetened condensed milk, evaporated milk, and heavy whipping cream) and slowly pour over the cake. Allow each coating to soak in before continuing. Let the cake cool a couple minutes, then refrigerate at least 4 hours (overnight is best).
"Et voila!"
Tuesday, November 01, 2011
Weddings on the mind... and nerves
Hello all!
It's been quite some time since I blogged, so it's time again. As many of you know, I am engaged (as of one month ago!) and set to marry in March. Time will go by quick! And I am learning a lot! As exciting as it is to prepare for being married to the love of my life, I'm feeling the need to rant about the annoying parts of engagement...
Things I Dislike:
So here's to taking the risk of the Adventure of a Lifetime with my best friend, and to supporting Kingdom values that differ so much from the culture who wants to play "Pretty Pretty Princess."
Thoughtfully yours,
Ellen P.
It's been quite some time since I blogged, so it's time again. As many of you know, I am engaged (as of one month ago!) and set to marry in March. Time will go by quick! And I am learning a lot! As exciting as it is to prepare for being married to the love of my life, I'm feeling the need to rant about the annoying parts of engagement...
Things I Dislike:
- Since 5.5 months is a short engagement by American culture standards, I am continually being told that there's barely enough time to get everything done. Hurry, hurry! Worry, worry!
- How much everything costs. I knew this would be the case, but boy, just when you think you've thought of everything, you haven't. Granted, I'm going to be as resourceful and creative as possible, but I'm still in the learning process, but it's pretty ridiculous sometimes!
- How wedding planning starts overshadowing the Bigger Picture: being married For The Rest Of Your Life. I'm not in love with wedding planning in the first place, but even for me, it is a fight to keep it all in perspective. Pre-marriage counseling, however, helps a lot to counteract this effect.
- How it's all about the Bride (and barely about the Groom). I know that girls tend to get more excited about being the princess for a day (and bows, candles, deco, etc, etc). but it's a momentous day for the groom too. He may even care more (gasp!) about the food than I will, and he often has opinions of his own about design. Thankfully, I'm blessed to be engaged to someone who wants to be involved and feel free to share his ideas.
- Being told we're too young. Although people are free to have their own opinions about the ideal age to get married, I have heard plenty of success stories of couples who married in their early 20s. I've been out of high school for over 4 years, and I have grown a lot in that time. Honestly, I believe that more important than age is relative maturity, a similar belief system, and a commitment to work through tough times.
So here's to taking the risk of the Adventure of a Lifetime with my best friend, and to supporting Kingdom values that differ so much from the culture who wants to play "Pretty Pretty Princess."
Thoughtfully yours,
Ellen P.
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